2014年10月31日金曜日

2014年10月31日金曜日 -

John: Sushi & Jokes

Last time I mentioned that I quit smoking and gained (a lot of) weight. Well I finally discovered a benefit: food now tastes amazing! In the seven years I've been in Japan I have only recently started to enjoy sushi. Previously the texture was too slimy for me to countenance. These days I've been enjoying sushi a lot! I like the basic types such as salmon and tai (that’s red snapper in English) and have been eating it about 3 times a week on average.

However as the weather turns delightfully cooler my cravings for ramen, nabe, cheese tempura and yaki-niku have resurfaced and I fear that my stomach will soon pass a point of no return. Never in my life has gravity been so noticeable.

Joke Time: Puns.

A pun is a joke wherein a word has two different meanings or two words sounding similar. We mostly use them for kids, but if you can work them out then you are doing a fantastic job at English!

Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 8 9. (7 ate 9).

What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can’t tuna fish.

What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off the cliff?
Tequila!

Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to go with.

What do you get if you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator!

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Tentacles. (10 tickles).

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.


What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey?



Original Joke:
What do you get if you cross a fish with a yo-yo?
A Ponyo!

gained (a lot of) weight：体重が(すごく)増えた
texture：食感
slimy：ぬるぬるした
countenance：好意を示す
on average：平均して
cravings：欲求
resurfaced：再浮上する
gravity：重力
A Pun：ダジャレ
Wherein：その中に
work them out：練習する
Tuna：鮪( tune a fish/魚をチューニングするに音が似ている)
Tequila：テキーラ(to kill herに音が似ている)
Framed：｢額に入れた｣｢濡れ衣を着せられた｣の2つの意味がある
skeleton：骸骨(「no body/肉体がない」と「nobody/誰もいない」にかけている)
investigator：調査員(Vest+ alligator に音が似ている)
tickle：くすぐること
Tentacles：触手
Frostbite：凍傷(Frost/寒さにBite/咬まれる)
Ponyo：日本のアニメのキャラクター